Richard’s Lionhearts 43, NASA Tuesdays 27

NASA Tuesdays came into Week 9 leading the Burgundy Division and owning the stingiest defense in the WMFFL. They left in second place. Richard’s Lionhearts showed up and simply out-launched them.

Joe Burrow ran the show. His 28 points were the biggest night of any quarterback in the league this week. Christian Watson was his favorite target and added 20 of his own, a performance that will have Lionhearts fans checking whether he’s always been this good. The 49ers’ line put up 14 and Cam Little kicked in 11, so the Lionhearts’ offense finished with a whopping 87 points.

Credit to NASA’s defense: it didn’t go quietly. Arvell Reese had a monster day with 20 points, Jessie Bates chipped in 11, and the unit totaled 44, enough to take a real bite out of that Lionhearts haul. The problem was on the other side of the ball. Travis Kelce led the offense with 9, Jahmyr Gibbs managed 7, Matthew Stafford had 6, and the whole group produced only 43. The Lionhearts’ defense needed just 16 points to keep that offense on the launchpad, and NASA finished at 27.

This was a divisional game, so it counted double in the standings. The Lionhearts climb to 6-3 and take sole possession of first place in the Burgundy. Their 461 points scored are also the most in the league, which is a polite way of saying nobody wants to see them in a shootout. NASA slips half a game back at 5-3-1, though its 3-1 division record keeps it right in the hunt. Next week the Lionhearts face MeggaMen, and NASA tries to regroup against Aint Nothing But a Jew Thing. Mission control, we have a race.

Around the League

Omar’s Coming 43, Amish Electricians 21. It took nine weeks, but Omar finally came. Omar’s Coming got its first win of the season, led by Ja’Marr Chase, whose 21 points were their high and set the tone early. Dominic Zvada added 11, Jacob Rodriguez put up 9 on defense, and a 58-point offensive effort was more than enough. Matthew Golden did everything he could for the Amish Electricians with 22 points, and the Chiefs’ line and Andy Reid gave him some help. But Jared Goff finished at -2 and the rest of the skill positions struggled to switch on. The Electricians fall to 3-6, last in the Gold, and host Sacks on the Beach next week. Omar’s Coming, now 1-7-1, gets the Crusaders.

Gallic Warriors 44, Norsemen 26. The Norsemen’s offense did plenty. Drake Maye had 17, Christian McCaffrey 14, and the Ravens’ line 11, for 71 points in all. The problem was a Gallic Warriors defense that took 45 of them right back, with Zyon McCollum (14) and Evan Williams (9) leading a group that refused to break. On offense, CeeDee Lamb’s 23 points were the Warriors’ high, and Patrick Mahomes (13) and Javonte Williams (12) helped build a comfortable cushion. Gallic gets back over .500 at 5-4, a game behind the Gold-leading Crusaders. The Norsemen fall to 5-4, a game behind the Lionhearts in the Burgundy, with Trump Molests Collies up next.

Crusaders 35, Aint Nothing But a Jew Thing 29. Puka Nacua was the best skill player on the field with 25 points. Bucky Irving (18) and Bijan Robinson (16) did the heavy lifting on the ground, and the Crusaders put up a 71-point offensive day. They needed nearly all of it: ANJ’s defense answered with 31 points behind Nik Bonitto and George Karlaftis (9 each), and a 5-point penalty shrank the margin further. Brock Purdy (19) and Brock Bowers (12) kept ANJ close. Jordan Love’s 34 points on the bench would have flipped this one, and that will sting. The Crusaders improve to 6-3 and take sole possession of first place in the Gold. ANJ falls to 5-4 and now shares the White lead with MeggaMen, though its perfect 3-0 division record is a handy tiebreaker. The Crusaders face Omar’s Coming next.

Trump Molests Collies 33, Sacks on the Beach 28. The defenses mostly cancelled each other out, Collies 34 and Sacks 33, so this one came down to firepower, and Kenneth Walker III supplied it. His 26 points were the game’s best. Tee Higgins and Xavier McKinney added 13 apiece, enough for the Collies to hold off a steady Sacks effort. Dak Prescott led Sacks on the Beach with 16, Spencer Shrader and the Falcons’ line each had 12, and James Cook and Zack Baun hit double digits, but they came up a few points short. The Collies move to 5-4, tied with Gallic and a game behind the Crusaders in the Gold. Sacks on the Beach falls to 3-5-1 and plays the Amish Electricians next.

MeggaMen 19, Rocky Mountain Oysters 0. The Oysters were blanked for the second straight week and the third time this season. Their offense actually put up 30, with Luther Burden leading at 10 and Caleb Williams adding 8. Then the MeggaMen defense took 28 of those points back, and Chris Boswell (-5), the Steelers’ line (-5) and a 10-point penalty finished the job. The Oysters’ final tally of -8 gets rounded up to a merciful zero. Ka’imi Fairbairn was the MeggaMen’s best player with 13 points, and their defense carried the rest. MeggaMen get their first divisional win and climb to 5-4, tied with ANJ for the White lead. The Oysters fall to 3-5-1, tied with Sacks on the Beach two games back. In the White, the shell game continues.