GAME OF THE WEEK: Trump Molests Collies 49, Gallic Warriors 47

Some losses come from being outplayed. Others come from being out-managed, and the one doing the managing is you. The Gallic Warriors lost to TMC by two points on Sunday. Patrick Mahomes scored 26 points for them. He did it from the bench.

Start with the winners, because they earned it. TMC rode Josh Allen to a monster 35-point afternoon. Allen was the best player on the field in this matchup and the biggest reason TMC is now 2-0 and alone atop the Gold Division. Stefon Diggs (13) and Kenneth Walker III (13) gave him steady support. That was enough to cover some real holes: Saquon Barkley and Dallas Goedert each put up a zero, and Cameron Dicker contributed a single point. TMC's 71 offensive points weren't always pretty, but Allen did the heavy lifting like a man carrying all the groceries in one trip.

The Warriors answered with plenty. CeeDee Lamb went for 25, Brandon Aubrey kicked his way to 14 (nothing says "shootout" like a kicker finishing third on the team), and Trey McBride added 10. The Rams' offensive line chipped in 9. Gallic finished with 67 offensive points, four fewer than TMC. On defense, Gregory Rousseau posted 10 points. It's a nice bit of irony that a Bills pass rusher tried to erase what the Bills quarterback was doing to them, but Rousseau needed more help than he got. Jack Campbell (2) and Travon Walker (0) were quiet, and the Warriors' 22 defensive points only barely beat TMC's 20.

Final margin: 2 points. Here is the math that will keep Chris up at night:

• Lamar Jackson started and scored 7. Mahomes sat and scored 26. That's a 19-point swing, almost ten times the margin of defeat.
• The Rams' OL started and scored 9. The Bills' OL sat and scored 15. Six more points, which would have won the game by itself. Starting Buffalo's line also would have meant getting points from the guys protecting the quarterback who beat them. Poetic.

Either move alone flips the result. Both together turn this into a comfortable win. Instead, last year's finalist falls to 0-2 and sits at the bottom of the Gold. The bench outscored a good chunk of the starting lineup, and the scoreboard doesn't give partial credit for good intentions.

TMC goes to 2-0 with a two-point win it will happily take. The Warriors go home knowing they had the winning lineup the whole time. It just happened to be the wrong one.

Around the League

NASA Tuesdays 94, Omar's Coming 27 — Houston, there was no problem. NASA Tuesdays put up 109 offensive points, the biggest number of the week by a mile. Davante Adams (29) and Matthew Stafford (28) led the way, and the Rams connection apparently still works just fine. Travis Kelce added 15, Jahmyr Gibbs had 13, and Chase McLaughlin kicked in 11. Omar's Coming got 16 from Ja'Marr Chase and 10 from George Kittle, but Jaxson Dart and A.J. Brown both posted zeros. NASA moves to 2-0 with a league-best 143 points for. Omar's drops to 0-2 and has now given up 140. Omar's coming, sure, but so is everyone else.

Amish Electricians 64, Rocky Mountain Oysters 0 — The zero is generous. The Oysters actually finished at -6 before the scoreboard stepped in mercifully. Jared Goff threw for 30 points, Jonathan Taylor ran for 19, and Chris Olave added 12 as the Electricians wired up their first win without any help from modern technology. The Oysters' offense was a Chicago Bears support group gone wrong. Caleb Williams (-2), Luther Burden (0), and Colston Loveland (0) combined for less than nothing, and Ashton Jeanty and Brian Thomas Jr. also posted zeros. Riley Moss (9), Tyler Nubin (6), and Azeez Al-Shaair (6) scored 21 points on the bench. That wouldn't have changed the result, but it probably changed the mood. Both teams are now 1-1.

Richard's Lionhearts 53, Aint Nothing But a Jew Thing 11 — Jaxon Smith-Njigba put up 32 points, and that alone was nearly three times ANJ's final score. Jake Ferguson (14) and Joe Burrow (13) helped the Lionhearts reach 93 offensive points and a 2-0 start. ANJ's defense actually played well: Trent McDuffie (11), Nakobe Dean (11), and Budda Baker (10) helped produce 40 defensive points. The offense was the problem. After Brock Purdy's 23, things fell apart. Jacory Croskey-Merritt, Ladd McConkey, and Jameson Williams all scored zero, and Tucker Kraft managed 1. ANJ drops to 1-1.

Norsemen 34, Sacks on the Beach 30 — This was the week's other nail-biter, and it came down to defense. Sacks on the Beach actually outscored the Norsemen offensively, 61 to 52, thanks to Dak Prescott's 29 and James Cook's 13. But the Norsemen's defense produced 31 points to Sacks' 18, and that decided it. Quentin Lake led the way with 11. Amon-Ra St. Brown carried the Norsemen offense with 25, while Drake Maye and Malik Nabers each put up zeros. The Norsemen won anyway, the Viking way: take a hit, then take the win. Both teams are 1-1.

Crusaders 5, MeggaMen 0 — The other half of last year's championship game is also 0-2, and this loss might be even more painful. Devin Lloyd played like a one-man army, scoring 32 defensive points. That's a staggering number, and it held the Crusaders' 58 offensive points to a final score of just 5. The MeggaMen offense couldn't give him any support. Their 16 points included zeros from Justin Jefferson, Kyle Pitts, David Montgomery, Dan Campbell, and the Lions' line, plus just 2 from Justin Herbert. They finished at -4, officially recorded as 0. When your linebacker outscores your offense two-to-one, it's time for a long talk in the film room. On the Crusaders side, DeVonta Smith had 17 and the Commanders' OL added 14. The Crusaders are 1-1.

The Champions' Hangover Watch: Both of last year's finalists are 0-2. The Gallic Warriors lost by two with 26 points of Mahomes on the bench. The MeggaMen lost 5-0 despite a 32-point game from a linebacker. One team had too much firepower on the bench and the other had none in the lineup. Neither can blame bad luck, which somehow makes it worse.