War Eagles At It Again


Gnome, Alaska (AP) - Those crazy War Eagles are at it again, this time trading away starters Aaron Brooks and Corey Dillon to the Green Wave in exchange for Daunte Cullpepper. When informed of the transaction, Head Coach Andy Ried (of the War Eagles) said "WHAT THE *%$^# IS THAT MORON THINKING??? DOESN'T HE REALIZE HE JUST GAVE AWAY %40 OF MY WHOLE #$%^!@#$!@#$ OFFENSE. DILLON AND BROOKS WERE KEY TO THE TEAMS REVITALIZATION AND FUTURE PLANS. WHY DIDN'T HE THROW KEVIN !@#$@#$ JOHNSON IN THE DEAL SO IT WOULD BE COMPLETELY MORONIC. GOD DAMMIT I'M PISSED." When shown the tape, Owner and General Manager Jim Bishop said "I had not thought of including Kevin Johnson in the trade. That actually makes great sense. Ried has all the hallmarks of a future front office man." Johnson was promptly issued a bus ticket to join Brooks and Dillon.

As Brooks, Dillon, and Johnson boarded a Greyhound bus bound for Anchorage, all three players were elated to be leaving town. "Hell ya I am glad to be leaving here." One player said. "This place is cold, the organization is a mess, the owner is a fruit loop. Who would want to stay here? Have you seen the cheerleaders? I mean come on. They are sending us away on the same *bus* we ride to away games on. This organization has no class. You know there are planes in the lower 48." Daunte Cullpepper could not be reached for comment although it is telling that broken furniture was being removed the Green Wave office as this reporter arrived.

PS: Ah it is close to football time again. Draft is very soon folks. I look forward to seeing you all again.

PPS: Tim congratulations on you wedding. I am not sure of the exact timeline but marriage is a good thing. I wish you well.

PPPS: Oh Tim, now that you are married (or soon will be), make sure you get permission from your wife before deciding on who the Imuminati are going to let win this year =^>